Once again, we have moved. The ADHD Hunter’s new home is now at ADHDHunter.com. We have transferred most of the content from here and are expanding into audio podcasts and a new ADHD Support Academy. Please give a click and let us know what you think of the new sites!
OK – I think I have almost hit the wall.
I have taken a few months to recollect my professional life and in order to do so, I put my ADHD Hunter cape away in the closet. In the past few weeks I had finally gotten my energy back up to push forward into developing the new site. I have had some great breakthroughs in setting up the new environment and needed another week or two to finalize the “beta” version.
This weekend I was taking a quick break to try and breathe life into the kids’ computer which had fallen prey to a deep-rooted virus. I went to look something up on my computer and it was dead – dead at 11 months – 4th dead laptop in about as many years – AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!.
This was not the kind of setback I needed right now. I just can’t squeeze any more time or money out of things. Someone is trying to test my will to the limit or just plain does not want this to move forward. ADHD can bring me to a screeching halt when these moments occur. I am trying very hard to focus on the “baby-steps”. But my focus is nore like pervasive blurriness right now.
Everyone has their limit – their wall. I’m getting pretty close to mine.
I’ve gotten quite a few notes from people checking in, to see if all is OK in our neck of the woods. The common thread was “you indicated you were having difficulties, then disappeared”. For that I must apologize. For the most part I came to a grinding halt with my online presence. The reasons have been many.
To start, on May 23rd, 2009 (Memorial Day weekend), I had gone back to taking Concerta for my ADHD. I had stopped taking the medication for one reason: cost. As I have mentioned, we have been cutting our costs at every possible decision, including my meds and the needed doctor visit to get them. After many months without them, I was convinced that the medication had helped me focus better and act less impulsively. As I still had contact with the doctor for the kids’ visits, he saw that I could use the medication and had resumed giving me the scripts for Concerta.
In the three or four months leading up to this moment, I had been spending over four hours a day, seven days a week, working on the ADHD Hunter’s presence online. As a result, my “day-job” work was suffering for the time. A tidal wave of pressure was building up behind me.
I was stuck square in the middle – not enough time to take the ADHD Hunter to its next step and, at its current level, the ADHD Hunter could not become my full-time commitment. For those of us with ADHD, not having a clear and positive path in front of us on a project can easily lead to “major roadblock” procrastination.
With the re-introduction of the meds, my focus on my “day-job” kicked into gear. Cleaning up outstanding work was creating some satisfaction in my day. But on the down-side, I felt like my creative energy had all but disappeared.
On the homefront, we have been facing substantial challenges ranging from difficulties with the school, in the kids’ last few days before summer break and in transitioning the kids into our plans for them for the summer. (More to come on this.)
I will try to resume writing in the coming weeks. I do not want to give up on the ADHD Hunter. In my heart, this work is much too important and there are too many people looking for someone to help them through the challenges of ADHD. I have been living through the challenges of ADHD and have been helping others around the world with their own ordeals. This vocation has such tremendous meaning to me that I am determined to find my way through to a solution. Until then, please forgive the sporadic updates, while I reason my way through to the other side of this adventure.
With tremendous gratitude to you all,
To think that I have wasted all these years accepting ADHD as a mental processing and executive function disability, when I could have just “cured” it!
One ad indicated how its product can:
Bold headlines described it as an “All Natural Formula for Guaranteed Success”, by which they of course mean, the product “is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or symptoms including inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity”, as they state in their incredibly small print. Thank heavens we all have 52″ monitors to read this stuff. Additionally, in pharmacology 101 students are told that there is no substance that you can put into your body to alleviate any condition that doesn’t have side-effects. None. So when somebody claims that a product has no side effects they are simply lying.
But that’s OK because I also found the “simple, easy-to-follow, scientifically proven way to totally eliminate your ADD-ADHD symptoms in only 2 minutes per day”! But wait! There’s more! Would you believe that these charitable souls have decided to have a one-day sale (every day I’ve looked) “giving” this product away for $27 instead of the $89 its actually worth? (Yeah – neither do I.)
Oh – and for those that weren’t aware, the “solutions” above will also make you two inches taller and cure your asthma too!
When some parasitic, opportunist wants to share with you all the “secrets the doctors and drug companies don’t want you to know”, realize that they are preying on our fears and weaknesses at a difficult time in our lives. Give them their due attention: ignore them, delete their e-mails, or toss their offers in the trash, where they belong.
Unfortunately, we have struggles and weaknesses, that will only be lessened by:
- good medical and therapeutic advice, taken over time
- increased education and self-awareness
- a network of loving and supportive family and friends.
No magic, no snake oil. But that’s OK – we don’t need them.
Everyone wants to know how to best help their child dealing with ADD or ADHD. Very often readers and social networking friends ask what we do, in working with our kids. Recently, a discussion like this resulted in an impromptu list of some of the rules we have tried to stick to. We’re not perfect and sometimes the train goes flying off the rails, but these rules make sense to us:
- Always show love, acceptance and support – our love is not dependent on our children’s behavior.
- Provide our children plenty of opportunities to make the right decision and celebrate the good ones immediately.
- Never bait them into a trap – if you know they did something, don’t ask – state that you know it and discuss the situation.
- Explain why they should do something, remind them of the rewards for doing it, the priviledges lost for not, then let them decide.
- Be persistent – It’s not easy saying “turn off the TV/Computer” over & over – let them know it’s important enough for us to follow through.
- Don’t punish for every infraction – redirect and move on.
- Set clear rules for what’s totally unacceptable (hitting, etc.).
- When possible, allow for choices, rather than a single directive. Allowing our children the chance to choose between options often will reduce the battle that can result with forcing them into a task, completely on our terms.
- Medication, if used, is not a crutch – it is an opportunity for our children to relieve some pressure while they develop new skills and tools for coping with the effects of ADHD. They need skills, not just pills.
- Know when our children function well – if attention spans are depleted and frustration triggers more easily by dinner time, don’t put our children in the unrealistic position of challenging them at these times – resolve difficult issues earlier or wait until the morning.
Each of these rules could easily be its own post and maybe we will do that someday. As I said earlier, we are not perfect. We often can break some of these rules, but always return to them, as we see their importance.
What rules have you implemented for helping your kids?