Ready to snap….

OK – I think I have almost hit the wall.

I have taken a few months to recollect my professional life and in order to do so, I put my ADHD Hunter cape away in the closet. In the past few weeks I had finally gotten my energy back up to push forward into developing the new site. I have had some great breakthroughs in setting up the new environment and needed another week or two to finalize the “beta” version.

This weekend I was taking a quick break to try and breathe life into the kids’ computer which had fallen prey to a deep-rooted virus. I went to look something up on my computer and it was dead – dead at 11 months – 4th dead laptop in about as many years – AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!.

This was not the kind of setback I needed right now. I just can’t squeeze any more time or money out of things. Someone is trying to test my will to the limit or just plain does not want this to move forward. ADHD can bring me to a screeching halt when these moments occur. I am trying very hard to focus on the “baby-steps”. But my focus is nore like pervasive blurriness right now.

Everyone has their limit – their wall. I’m getting pretty close to mine.

Finding My Way

I’ve gotten quite a few notes from people checking in, to see if all is OK in our neck of the woods. The common thread was “you indicated you were having difficulties, then disappeared”. For that I must apologize. For the most part I came to a grinding halt with my online presence. The reasons have been many.

To start, on May 23rd, 2009 (Memorial Day weekend), I had gone back to taking Concerta for my ADHD. I had stopped taking the medication for one reason: cost. As I have mentioned, we have been cutting our costs at every possible decision, including my meds and the needed doctor visit to get them. After many months without them, I was convinced that the medication had helped me focus better and act less impulsively. As I still had contact with the doctor for the kids’ visits, he saw that I could use the medication and had resumed giving me the scripts for Concerta.

In the three or four months leading up to this moment, I had been spending over four hours a day, seven days a week, working on the ADHD Hunter’s presence online. As a result, my “day-job” work was suffering for the time. A tidal wave of pressure was building up behind me.

I was stuck square in the middle – not enough time to take the ADHD Hunter to its next step and, at its current level, the ADHD Hunter could not become my full-time commitment. For those of us with ADHD, not having a clear and positive path in front of us on a project can easily lead to “major roadblock” procrastination.

With the re-introduction of the meds, my focus on my “day-job” kicked into gear. Cleaning up outstanding work was creating some satisfaction in my day. But on the down-side, I felt like my creative energy had all but disappeared.

On the homefront, we have been facing substantial challenges ranging from difficulties with the school, in the kids’ last few days before summer break and in transitioning the kids into our plans for them for the summer. (More to come on this.)

I will try to resume writing in the coming weeks. I do not want to give up on the ADHD Hunter. In my heart, this work is much too important and there are too many people looking for someone to help them through the challenges of ADHD. I have been living through the challenges of ADHD and have been helping others around the world with their own ordeals. This vocation has such tremendous meaning to me that I am determined to find my way through to a solution. Until then, please forgive the sporadic updates, while I reason my way through to the other side of this adventure.

With tremendous gratitude to you all,
Chris

The Gallery is Growing!

As many of you are aware, we have made room for The Gallery, where ADHD artists young and old can show the world a bit of our creative side. Over the past few weeks, The Gallery has grown. If you haven’t taken a peek recently, we encourage you to do so. If you like the concept and you or someone you know has an artistic talent you would to see displayed here, please join in! We would be happy to display your work!

You can visit The Gallery here. Thanks once again for your interest and support.

An ADHD Miracle Cure?

To think that I have wasted all these years accepting ADHD as a mental processing and executive function disability, when I could have just “cured” it!

One ad indicated how its product can:

Reduce hyperactivity & support calmness

Maximize attention span & focus

Support optimal brain & synaptic health

Strengthen immune system health

Get results with zero side effects

Bold headlines described it as an “All Natural Formula for Guaranteed Success”, by which they of course mean, the product “is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or symptoms including inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity”, as they state in their incredibly small print. Thank heavens we all have 52″ monitors to read this stuff. Additionally, in pharmacology 101 students are told that there is no substance that you can put into your body to alleviate any condition that doesn’t have side-effects. None. So when somebody claims that a product has no side effects they are simply lying.

But that’s OK because I also found the “simple, easy-to-follow, scientifically proven way to totally eliminate your ADD-ADHD symptoms in only 2 minutes per day”! But wait! There’s more! Would you believe that these charitable souls have decided to have a one-day sale (every day I’ve looked) “giving” this product away for $27 instead of the $89 its actually worth? (Yeah – neither do I.)

 Oh – and for those that weren’t aware, the “solutions” above will also make you two inches taller and cure your asthma too!

When some parasitic, opportunist wants to share with you all the “secrets the doctors and drug companies don’t want you to know”, realize that they are preying on our fears and weaknesses at a difficult time in our lives. Give them their due attention: ignore them, delete their e-mails, or toss their offers in the trash, where they belong.

Unfortunately, we have struggles and weaknesses, that will only be lessened by:

• good medical and therapeutic advice, taken over time
• increased education and self-awareness
• a network of loving and supportive family and friends.

No magic, no snake oil. But that’s OK – we don’t need them.

A Great ADHD Hobby: Geocaching!

We have recently discovered a great new way to spend time as a family. A family doctor, whose own child has ADHD, had recommended Geocaching, which we have come to understand as a little-discussed adventure/sport/game/hobby. I’m really not sure which of those fits best!

Geocaching is an outdoor treasure hunt in which the participants use a GPS, or a global positioning system receiver or other navigational techniques to hide and seek containers called geocaches or caches, anywhere in the world. Typically, the cache is a small waterproof container holding a logbook and some small trinkets as the treasure. This game became popular after the GPS satellite systems were upgraded to become more accurate, around 10 years ago. Currently, there are over 814,000 active caches hidden around the world.

The concept originated about 150 years ago as “Letterboxing”. In Letterboxing, the clues were based upon the tools of the day such as compasses, verbal clues and paces in specific directions from different landmarks. While this is still active, it does not seem to be as active as Geocaching.

So why do these games seem well suited for the ADHDr’s of the world? It is suitable for the young to the old. Some caches are considered “park and grabs”, meaning that you can practically pull your car right up to the site. Others are more challenging, requiring a hike into deep woods or mountains. They often get us out into the therapeutic, green outdoors. And lastly, the novelty of each adventure seems to keep the attention of the ADHDr’s, with our curiosity getting the best of us.

For those who would like more information, I would suggest these sites:

www.Geocaching.com

www.Letterboxing.org

Happy hunting!

 - Chris

10 Rules for Working with My ADHD Child

Everyone wants to know how to best help their child dealing with ADD or ADHD. Very often readers and social networking friends ask what we do, in working with our kids.  Recently, a discussion like this resulted in an impromptu list of some of the rules we have tried to stick to. We’re not perfect and sometimes the train goes flying off the rails, but these rules make sense to us:

1. Always show love, acceptance and support – our love is not dependent on our children’s behavior.
2. Provide our children plenty of opportunities to make the right decision and celebrate the good ones immediately.
3. Never bait them into a trap – if you know they did something, don’t ask – state that you know it and discuss the situation.
4. Explain why they should do something, remind them of the rewards for doing it, the priviledges lost for not, then let them decide.
5. Be persistent – It’s not easy saying “turn off the TV/Computer” over & over – let them know it’s important enough for us to follow through.
6. Don’t punish for every infraction – redirect and move on.
7. Set clear rules for what’s totally unacceptable (hitting, etc.).
8. When possible, allow for choices, rather than a single directive. Allowing our children the chance to choose between options often will reduce the battle that can result with forcing them into a task, completely on our terms.
9. Medication, if used, is not a crutch – it is an opportunity for our children to relieve some pressure while they develop new skills and tools for coping with the effects of ADHD. They need skills, not just pills.
10. Know when our children function well – if attention spans are depleted and frustration triggers more easily by dinner time, don’t put our children in the unrealistic position of challenging them at these times – resolve difficult issues earlier or wait until the morning.

Each of these rules could easily be its own post and maybe we will do that someday. As I said earlier, we are not perfect. We often can break some of these rules, but always return to them, as we see their importance.

What rules have you implemented for helping your kids?

Meeting the Needs of Special-Education Students

I don’t normally do posts like this, but I felt that the information it contained was important and I did not want this to become a game of telephone, with the message getting lost along the way. Therefore I would strongly encourage my readers to take a look at this link:  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/31/education/31tuition.html?ref=education .

It is an article at the New York Times talking about an issue before the Supreme Court (the U.S.’s highest court). It looks at the obligation of schools in the U.S. to either provide an appropriate education for our children, or to reimburse parents that feel compelled to find that education on their own.

I’ll keep this brief, as the article is fairly long and it deserves your attention more than my ramblings do!

(Special thanks to my wife Dawn for pointing this article out)

Some Setbacks…

Sorry for the delay in writing. We have had some good and bad days.  OK – so we have had some bad days.

In my internet travels, possibly including here, I have mentioned the huge costs we have incurred with health insurance and out-of-pocket medical bills. I make a nice income, but when your medical costs are running over $50,000 each year for the past few (which requires gross income of around $75,000 just for the medical costs) it gets hard to keep up. On top of that, we live in an area with a very high cost of living and some of the highest taxes in the country.

My wife is a stay at home mom.  She would love to be working and contributing to the household income, but with some of the events in the earlier posts focusing around my kids, it is clear that she needs to be home for them.  A couple of years back, we downgraded our home. We have sold many items of worth we felt we “needed”.  Today, my wife cut off the house telephone and “cable” TV. I have a slow leak in a car tire, that I am hesitating to fix, out of a fear of spending the $4 or $5 it will cost to fix. I have lived at the top. I am now plowing through to the bottom.

I have been stretching myself thin between work, which is paying all of the bills (well, the ones that can get paid), and trying to establish an online presence and voice. My hopes were to find a way to turn this into a source of additional income, possibly through the writing of a book, or even by making this a full time vocation. Before you think it – this was not meant to be a get rich quick, on the backs of others concept. My intention from day one was to provide some true value for whatever rewards it might generate.

I have some concerns that are building. First, I see an audience that often has their own financial struggles and sometimes those struggles are substantially worse than my own. Second, my current vision for my work here needs a few thousand dollars more than I can pull from thin air (please don’t take this as any kind of request for support – it’s not). Lastly, I fear that my neglect for my regular work, to keep this going, is putting me at greater risk then I can afford.

Add to that, the events of today. My wife realized that my son, PJ, used the last of his ADHD meds this morning. She set an appointment during the day to take my son to the doctor right after school, for a new prescription.  She mentioned it to PJ in the morning, but he had forgotten and nothing definite was set. After school, my wife reminded PJ that they needed to run to the doctors.

PJ doesn’t like surprises. He first determined that he would not go. After prolonged discussions and pleading, after making it clear that this was not going to be a moment for choice, after physically wrestling with him and getting him in  the car, we finally gave up. Dawn calls the doctor, to inform him and they agree that she should at least make the 45 minute trip to get the prescription and discuss the situation. She gets in the car and now PJ runs out, saying that he is coming. I get a call a few minutes later from Dawn. PJ wanted to go back to the house for his Nintendo DS. She explained that they were already late and that she couldn’t go back. Now the jumping out of the car game begins. He is opening the door saying he is going to get out. She finally told him to do exactly that. He gets out and tells her that he knows she’ll come back to get him. I told Dawn to keep going and that it was time to call his bluff. She did – in tears.

About an hour later PJ came home to me. I explained to him the danger he was putting himself and others in with his behavior in the car. We talked at length about how those kinds of distractions in the car could get someone killed. He felt very badly. He always does at times like this.

As I had started this post, it has been a rough couple of days, which is seen in only fragments here. Certainly not all bad, but from my perspective, at the moment, certainly not all good either. There will be better days ahead and sadly a few worse, most likely. Sorry for the uncharacteristically dark tone. If it doesn’t read that way, trust me – it’s there.

Peace

 - Chris

ADD? ADHD? OCD? LMNOP?

Welcome to the alphabet soup!

We’ve all seen it before: Ignatius Stockdale, M.D., Lawrence Tuttleworth, Esq. or Mary Ellen Peabody, Ph.D.

Then, with a knowing wink you look at me and say, “It works a little different in our world, doesn’t it!”.  In our world it goes a little bit more like this:  “Hi, I’m Bob: ADD-I, OCD, ODD” or “Hello! I’m Susan: ADHD, LD”.

Those few letters are abbreviations, yet speak volumes. They are a code we share.  They help us understand the challenges the other might be dealing with.  Those letters paint a simple picture of what our daily lives might be like.  A handfull of jumbled letters can create a sense of unity and membership in an otherwise lonely world.  Those few letters are the beacons we hold out to each other in the online networks and rabbit holes we have found that seem to lead us closer to understanding and acceptance.

Maybe, a day will come when we proudly display those labels for all, as we reach acceptance of ourselves and find a pride in our unique personalities, warts and all.

Till then,

Peace

You’re Too Smart to Have ADHD

Does this sound familiar? Or how about this variation: “Your child is very intelligent, therefore he/she does not need (select one of the following: medication, accommodations, an IEP, or  additional help/support).”

I don’t know about you folks, but I can say first hand that this is the kind of thinking we tend to run into when dealing with many in our children’s school district. The people I have come to know online who have ADD or ADHD, as children or adults, have related countless stories like this.  Many explain how as teens and adults they have had medical professionals tell them that they can’t have ADD or ADHD simply because they are not fidgeting in their chairs or can look the doctor in the eye while speaking. Why bother with studying DNA when we have these geniuses? Conduct new research studies? Why would we do that when we have the “fidget scale”, which is bullet-proof! I suppose some of these medical professionals would suggest leeches or a blood-letting instead.

A recent study performed by researchers at the Yale School of Medicine shows indications that being smart is no defense against the negative effects of ADHD.  They looked at individuals with IQ scores over 120.  These individuals are representative of the top 9%, in intelligence, in the U.S.  Comparing the behaviors of those in this group, with and without ADHD, they discovered that the ADHDr’s showed significant impairment in memory and cognitive tests, compared to their non-ADHD counterparts.  Approximately 73% of the ADHDr’s studied showed significant executive function impairments in  five or more of the eight measures used.

Thomas E. Brown is the assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine and lead author of the study. According to Dr. Brown, “Many of these people are told they can’t be suffering the loss of executive function (the ability to plan and carry out many day-to-day tasks) from ADHD because they are too smart.” 

The ADHDr’s lacked self-management skills and the ability to focus. They tended to procrastinate and be forgetful. They also demonstrated difficulty in harnessing their talents to complete many daily tasks.

The report used the following analogy: “Each of these individuals might be compared to a symphony orchestra of very talented musicians who cannot produce adequate symphonic music because the orchestra lacks an effective conductor,”

Philipp C. Reichel and Donald M. Quinlan of Yale co-authored the paper. The report will be published in the September 2009 print edition of the Journal of Attention Disorders.  The following link, provides access to the report in its current state: http://jad.sagepub.com/pap.dtl .

I can see the comments on this one now – “I’m printing this out and giving this to my child’s teacher/principal/doctor.”  More power to you.